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How Not to Knit Socks: A Cautionary List

Don't do a gauge swatch.

Ask yourself, "Wait, is this the right number of stitches for my size?"  Then immediately reply to yourself, "I'm sure it's fine.  I'll dig the instructions out later."

Yeah, sure that will fit my adult-sized ankle....

Decide to knit the heel in a different color yarn because you think a different-colored heel would be nice.  Even though this is not that kind of pattern.

Let your two-year-old pretend to knit on double pointed needles even though you normally only let her play with your circulars.

Try to rethread those DPNs through those little loops while traveling on Arkansas's marvelous roads.

Pay only passing attention to the directions and miss that part about knitting in between decrease rounds.

Try to work in modifications on the first time you've ever done anything like this.

Let your little girl try on the socks even though you have already decided to never knit socks again.

Watch her get incredibly excited about wearing her sock and surprisingly upset when she has to take them off.

Realize you will not only be completing this project, but you will also be making another one.


And in case you're curious about how TO knit socks, I did manage to pick up a few good things in this little knitting experiment.  Here they are, in no particular order:

  1. Actually read your book about knitting because it's a good book!  Read it well.  Keep it nearby.
  2. Stick with the pattern.
  3. After you screw up the pattern, go ahead and finish it so you at least have the practice of doing all the steps to knitting a sock.  Also, that way you can say YOU MADE A WHOLE SOCK AND DIDN'T GIVE UP!
  4. Acknowledge those accomplishments, baby!
  5. Make a list of things you'll do differently next time.
  6. Buy yourself some more sock yarn for that next time because it's a lovely motivator.

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